Lunch with Mykadink at Carolina Cafe

The table in the booth was wide, which I like, and which it has to be so your words don’t jump right out of your mouth and pop the other person in the face.  They have to have a moment to float, gathering gentleness and weight as they go. 

She said she didn’t really have any close friends.  She said she seemed to attract people who were “needy.”  It was good to help people, but they weren’t usually the ones you picked to get real close to.  And she would meet the new ladies who didn’t know anyone and help them get settled.  But, again, there wasn’t that girl-to-girl connection.

Her husband had lots of friends.  Some of them went back to high school and college days.  They might not be constantly in touch, but they hooked up once or twice (or more) a year and picked up right where they left off.  She watched how he did it when he made friends.  They’d move to a new area and he’d lay back for 6 months or a year and just observe.  Then he’d actually pursue the guys he’d “chosen,” and they would end up in a men’s group or a Bible study, or they’d just hang out.  She told him she noticed how he did it, and he said, yeah, doesn’t everybody—isn’t that the way it’s done?

So she asked him to pick some friends for her.  He immediately rattled off the names of 3–4 women.  They were mostly the wives of his men friends.  During his “research” he had also noticed the women.  But they’re the most spiritual women in the church and they already have tons of friends—they don’t need me.  He said, they’ll love you, you’ll get along great.

She wasn’t about to go after them.  That just isn’t me.  But she promised if any of them ever invited her to do something, she wouldn’t hesitate.  They did.  She didn’t.  We’re going on a cruise, wanna go?  She was scared, what if they don’t like me?  I don’t really know them.  Every usual reason to give the usual I’m busy.  By faith, it was yes.  Then more invitations, more yesses. 

So how has it worked out?  They love me!  We get along great!  

We walked across the parking lot to Barnes & Noble.  She bought this, I bought this.